I thought I had to know everything when I stepped into a leadership role.
I had to have an answer to every question anyone threw at me.
I realize now that this was one of my most significant impediments to growth.
If I could have a conversation with my younger self, I would say:
You don’t have to know everything, and you don’t have to pretend that you do.
Influential leaders understand and accept that they will never have all the answers.
They’re the ones who get the right people in the room and empower them to achieve a common goal collectively, knowing everyone has their respective gaps.
A great leader sets direction, finds competent people who pair well together, and then gets out of the way while they execute the vision, providing feedback and course correction as needed.
From where I sit today, the most important thing I’ve learned to say when I don’t know the answer to something is:
“I don’t know, but we will figure it out together.”
It’s a pragmatic form of optimism.
I’ve learned the value of quiet, humble confidence that demonstrates competence while not being so short-sighted to believe that I will never make mistakes or know how to handle every complex situation.
I’ve learned to ask for help and to ask questions instead of being stuck for the sake of protecting my ego and pride.
Being the smartest in the room is not essential; it’s undesirable in terms of our ability to learn from those around us.
It’s about the humility to recognize gaps and the curiosity to fill them, surrounding ourselves with people who can help.
Humility encourages us to think of others above ourselves and embrace that we don't know everything.
Curiosity blends an inclination to be inquisitive and the desire to lean into what we don't know.
Together, they produce a foundation of character that amplifies competence and the ability to lead ourselves and our teams effectively.
Value of Leading with Humility & Curiosity
Creates a supportive team culture—Humble and curious leaders value relationships above all else. The willingness to delegate within our gaps and bring others to the table for their expertise creates a culture where others feel valued and encouraged to contribute and support each other.
Encourages learning and growth—Acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers keeps us open to new perspectives. It’s a mindset as much as it is a principle to follow. Being a learning leader requires self-inquiry, a habit of asking questions, and the belief that mistakes are opportunities to learn.
Enables transparency—Acknowledging what we don’t know and asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. It demonstrates self-awareness of our limitations and openness to learn and collaborate. It focuses on the collective team instead of the individual, reinforcing that it’s okay to be ourselves.
Empowers others—Leaders are valued for inspiring others to accomplish a collective goal. Knowing our strengths and especially blind spots, we can empower our teams to lead and take on more responsibilities. To show up this way is to amplify the team’s ability to achieve a shared vision collectively.
Builds trust and credibility—Pretending to know everything is apparent and ineffective. Acknowledging and communicating our gaps and blind spots builds trust and credibility. Our egos suggest the opposite: we must know everything or risk seeming incompetent, which is not valid.
Practical Principles to Reinforce These Traits
Admit when you don’t know—speak the truth and reinforce the team's ability to figure it out together.
Ask “what” and “how” questions—encourage dialogue and deeper thinking by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
Engage your team at all levels—be aware of your team’s strengths and blindspots, and ask for support or delegate to someone competent in the area you’re lacking; this is the essence of effective team building.
Reframe challenges—view obstacles and mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow; expect them instead of being surprised when they inevitably occur. Be pragmatically optimistic here, which is different than putting a positive spin on everything.
Ask for feedback—accepting that you have blindspots opens the door to creating confidence in addressing those areas; feedback from those we trust around us is one of the most fundamental tools for leadership development.
Build a network of mentors and advisors—build relationships with individuals inside and outside your organization; these are the people you’ll go to when you need coaching, advice, our counsel (I suggest having three to five available, especially when there’s a hard decision to make).
Seek to learn—leadership resources are abundant and in enjoyable formats (books, podcasts, etc.). It’s an active choice not to be consistently developing and improving.
As with everything in leadership, there’s a dichotomy here.
It’s about transparency AND accountability.
As a CEO, if I say “I don’t know” and stop there, I’ve lost trust in my competence.
Trust is a combination of humility, curiosity, courage, and confidence—in other words, character and competence.
Humility and curiosity build character and are a multiplier for competence.
We must be willing to be humble and say, “I don’t know,” AND take responsibility for figuring it out to ensure things continue to move forward.
As I always tell my team, we will be measured not by any one failure or misstep but by the culmination of our responses to those situations.
Our credibility as a leader is not tied to our intelligence; it’s tied to our ability to see those around us rise. That’s what it means to be a leader.
-Simon Sinek
Great stuff! Lots of wisdom!
Great article. I recently included top tips for building self-awareness in a newsletter on the topic of humility and there is definitely commonality here. I'll definitely share your article as a link in a forthcoming newsletter!
https://knowingselfknowingothers.substack.com/p/ksko-reflections-newsletter-january