Saturday Reflection: The Seeker is the Sought

A bite-sized topic for your mind to wander on over the weekend

In a week where gratitude, focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t, is heightened, a phrase I read earlier this year comes to mind:

“The seeker is the sought.”

While this saying has deep spiritual and philosophical meaning and origins, distilled down to the simple principle, there is much to learn from its message.

We often seek, strive, and aspire to be better or the “best version" of ourselves.

I believe in doing the work to learn and improve. However, the fundamental difference in mindset lies in whether it’s from a place of abundance or scarcity.

In other words, whether we believe that who we are now is already enough.

For example, I've repeatedly told myself I must be a better father, husband, and leader, never permitting myself to believe I already am.

Fortunately, I’ve had a support system willing to encourage me to see the truth and shift my drive and ambition to a lens of learning new skills and competencies rather than believing I must change who I am.

I had to dig deeper and allow myself to believe that I already am what I've been striving to attain.

Being driven is a beneficial characteristic – it's allowed me to advance quickly to where I am today. But there's also an unhealthy side to identity-related ambition.

Take an honest look at yourself for that which you seek to be. Not the ego version of yourself, the loud, obnoxious thoughts and constant chatter in your head, but the real version of you that sometimes only others can see.

I bet you're already the things you seek, as long as you choose to see it that way.

We go on an endless pursuit to figure out who we are, searching externally for that answer. But, the point of self-awareness is not to change who we are but to embrace and work within it.

Once we realize what we’re looking for already exists within us, we begin to achieve our goals and aspirations as an extension of letting go of limiting beliefs. It’s counterintuitively the only way to reach them.

“When you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. When you focus on what you have, you get what you lack.”

-Greg McKeown

This concept is fundamental from a leadership perspective.

If we never permit ourselves as leaders to believe who we are today is enough, how should our teams feel permission to do so?

I watch people who are rock stars downgrade themselves, never celebrating the fact that they're already great.

I have the blessing in my role as a leader to help quiet that belief, and I genuinely love watching the lightbulb go off when others accept it for themselves.

A critical part of a sustainable team culture is creating a space where people can be every bit of themselves and know the team will support them unconditionally.

It's as essential in the collective as it is at an individual level and produces genuine relationships, trust, and, by extension, productivity.

Encourage drive and initiative for yourself and your team. Go after your dreams, aspirations, and opportunities for growth. But separate that from who you are.

Because if you lead with who you are as opposed to what you do, you'll find that the version of yourself you strive for already exists. And it’s okay to ask for help to uncover that truth.

Look inward to produce outward.

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I hope everyone is enjoying this time to slow down with family and friends!