Saturday Reflection: The Power in Self-Regulation
Walking the Fine Line Between Rumination (Ego) and Preparation (Intuition)
How often have you argued with someone…
…and they’re not even present?
This happens to me more than I care to admit.
Our minds are incredibly powerful, yet there is a delicate balance between whether they are a superpower or an impediment.
It’s easy to slip into a circular pattern of rumination, where we create a distorted visual or narrative that bends the truth of reality.
Our egos tend to drive this behavior—the critic.
However, shifting the tone and basis of our internal dialogue into productive guidance that prepares and visualizes is equally possible.
This is more aligned with intuition—the guide.
Regardless, our brains process this in a way that feels like it’s happening by engaging the same neural pathways used during the actual situation.
In this week’s newsletter, I discussed the difference between ego and intuition and ways to recognize, regulate, and shift from one to the other.
As I’ve reflected more, I’m realizing that the concept and psychology here are seemingly boundless in their impact on how we show up.
It’s not just in-the-moment situations.
It’s everything preceding and following.
The ego lives in the past and future, whereas intuition focuses on the present.
Yet intuition still allows us to harness our ability to reflect and project in a way that strengthens instead of degrading, judging, or criticizing ourselves or others.
Preparation involves visualizing and tapping into the power of neural activation and cognitive rehearsal.
In other words, we work through and process the scenario as if it’s happening and do so through a lens of learning and insight.
That’s incredible when you think about it, but we must remember the same applies to the counter.
Rumination is to get lost in the insecurity or fear of what should or could happen; it’s stress and anxiety-inducing.
The worst part is that if we’ve already played it out that way, we may react similarly when the moment occurs, which is not ideal when the ruminations are based on a distorted reality.
Awareness and mindfulness are our first practices to cultivate—recognizing the differences in perspectives and how they influence how we spend our energy.
If we’re aware, we can self-regulate to harness our inherent abilities.
So, next time you find yourself arguing with someone who isn’t even in the room, ask yourself whether you’re ruminating or preparing.
Is it the critic driving or the guide?
If it’s the critic, take a deep breath and consider making adjustments.
If you enjoy the weekly newsletter and reflection, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn—I write daily content on leadership, personal development, and work-life harmony. 🏔️
What a fantastic distinction between the critic and the guide! By the way, I always win those arguments against people who are only in my brain. Well almost always.