I’ve struggled with arrival fallacy most of my life Josh - working so hard to reach an accomplishment, only to realize it doesn’t bring the excitement or happiness you thought it would. Then you’re onto the next goal.
I used to think people who were content had stopped growing or learning, but the truth is, it’s more about being satisfied with the progress you’ve made rather than always chasing the next thing. This was a great post, and it’s important for people to understand the difference between contentment and complacency.
I’m certainly glad I learned it earlier in my career. The thought of chasing a CEO title for the majority of my career and then realizing that’s not what mattered absolutely terrifies me. My hope is to shed light on this for others. That said, it’s one of those things that is hard to accept without the direct experience - I call it the achieved outcomes cliff.
I like that—“the achieved outcomes cliff.” That really does capture it. I remember after finishing my PhD, all that work and effort, and then… that’s it. There’s actually research showing that a lot of people experience a kind of depression afterward. I imagine it’s a similar pattern for anyone who hits a major milestone—like becoming a CEO, for instance.
And while yes, some of it you have to go through yourself to really get it, talking about it helps normalize the experience. That way, when someone does hit that wall, they’re not stuck thinking it’s just them—and that alone makes it easier to move through it.
Contentment is an underrated goal. You’re probably right that we confuse it with complacency. Relentless ambition is unsustainable and unsatisfying. Finding value in what have and have achieved is key to finding contentment. Great post!
I’d add that relentless ambition is unsustainable for some. Again, what I’m trying to reinforce here is that it’s not about what you do, it’s why you choose to do it.
So, for me, the poles of my dichotomy are wider between contentment and ambition because I find that I perform better with periods of rest and recovery, especially by focusing on my family and kids, which fuels both my contentment and drive.
That said, I’ve met individuals whose poles of this dichotomy are almost overlapping. They derive their contentment directly from what they’re pursing. They’re the ones we incorrectly tell to slow down, especially when they’re going 100% on the purpose-driven activities and do so in a grounded way.
You could be right. I've certainly met people like that. I've also known people who thought they derived contentment from relentless drive only to burn out. All that's anecdotal, of course. Perhaps some can both sustain relentless drive and derive true contentment from it.
It comes full circle back to the core point—it's all anecdotal because they are the only ones who know whether the constant drive creates legitimate contentment. It could be a facade. It could be genuine. Only they know the truth based on how they feel deep down inside.
It's a tough topic to write about. As I reread what I wrote, I can hear my biases come through for how I view the topic through my lens, which, again, is that contentment mostly comes from the moments where I step back, detach from what I'm pursuing, and appreciate what exists today. Slowing down to fuel my speeding up. To your point on LinkedIn, gratitude is a huge part of that.
I’ve struggled with arrival fallacy most of my life Josh - working so hard to reach an accomplishment, only to realize it doesn’t bring the excitement or happiness you thought it would. Then you’re onto the next goal.
I used to think people who were content had stopped growing or learning, but the truth is, it’s more about being satisfied with the progress you’ve made rather than always chasing the next thing. This was a great post, and it’s important for people to understand the difference between contentment and complacency.
I’m certainly glad I learned it earlier in my career. The thought of chasing a CEO title for the majority of my career and then realizing that’s not what mattered absolutely terrifies me. My hope is to shed light on this for others. That said, it’s one of those things that is hard to accept without the direct experience - I call it the achieved outcomes cliff.
I like that—“the achieved outcomes cliff.” That really does capture it. I remember after finishing my PhD, all that work and effort, and then… that’s it. There’s actually research showing that a lot of people experience a kind of depression afterward. I imagine it’s a similar pattern for anyone who hits a major milestone—like becoming a CEO, for instance.
And while yes, some of it you have to go through yourself to really get it, talking about it helps normalize the experience. That way, when someone does hit that wall, they’re not stuck thinking it’s just them—and that alone makes it easier to move through it.
This really resonated, Josh. The line between ambition and contentment is one I’ve wrestled with too.
I think we’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t experience this to some degree. It’s so innately human.
Oh, so so true
Contentment is an underrated goal. You’re probably right that we confuse it with complacency. Relentless ambition is unsustainable and unsatisfying. Finding value in what have and have achieved is key to finding contentment. Great post!
I’d add that relentless ambition is unsustainable for some. Again, what I’m trying to reinforce here is that it’s not about what you do, it’s why you choose to do it.
So, for me, the poles of my dichotomy are wider between contentment and ambition because I find that I perform better with periods of rest and recovery, especially by focusing on my family and kids, which fuels both my contentment and drive.
That said, I’ve met individuals whose poles of this dichotomy are almost overlapping. They derive their contentment directly from what they’re pursing. They’re the ones we incorrectly tell to slow down, especially when they’re going 100% on the purpose-driven activities and do so in a grounded way.
It’s both-and and very individually driven.
You could be right. I've certainly met people like that. I've also known people who thought they derived contentment from relentless drive only to burn out. All that's anecdotal, of course. Perhaps some can both sustain relentless drive and derive true contentment from it.
It comes full circle back to the core point—it's all anecdotal because they are the only ones who know whether the constant drive creates legitimate contentment. It could be a facade. It could be genuine. Only they know the truth based on how they feel deep down inside.
It's a tough topic to write about. As I reread what I wrote, I can hear my biases come through for how I view the topic through my lens, which, again, is that contentment mostly comes from the moments where I step back, detach from what I'm pursuing, and appreciate what exists today. Slowing down to fuel my speeding up. To your point on LinkedIn, gratitude is a huge part of that.